… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

This is so important

Everytime I do something dumb like trying to open my apartment door with my car keys I just go “almost used the wrong keys, like a genius”

schlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlopschlop

Half the water is now on the floor

NEWS FROM BULLSHIT CITY:

Your Friends had a Weird Discussion About Marbles

His face when he says “nickel” is great! XD

This reminds me of my little girl because her pants never have pockets

Haha Daddy you’re right! I neverrrrr have pockets, but that’s why you have them! You’re my pockets Daddy. ♥

i think about this post a lot. like, when you put something up on tumblr, you can never really be sure what’s going to happen to it - what comments will get attached to it, what reblog chains will gain critical mass, what kind of weird tumblr subcultures your gifs will get reblogged into.

and then we have this. this is a gifset of a cute moment from a pixar movie. of an infant mike wazowski finding a small coin and lamenting his lack of any pockets to store it in. when this person torrented monsters university, when they loaded these frames into photoshop, when they sharpened each frame one by one, did they know? did they know that shortly after expelling these gifs into the universe they would become a magnet for daddys-rainbow-princess, mister-daddy, and babygirl-in-daddys-world?

knowing what they know now, if they had the choice to go back to that moment when their finger hovered over the m key as the cursor in the pirate bay search bar blinked, would they type the rest of the word? if they had the power to go back in time and not make this gifset, thereby sparing the world from seeing a bunch of daddy kinksters opine about pockets on a goddamn pixar gifset, would they? 

all of these people are deactivated this is like an archeological dig

theres an ooze for just about every brand of human provocation and plainly i am sick of it

was going to elucidate on this matter but then realized i was accidentally inventing the four humors again

The submission deadline has been EXTENDED to January 31st, 2020! Spread the word and send in your work!

To add:

• things that need us to lift arms aren’t accessible
• putting things like trash cans beneath things we need to roll under prevents us from using them
• your taps need decent fucking water pressure, a lot of us don’t have enough hand / arm function to properly wet our hands with the tiniest amount of water coming out of a tap
• stop removing paper towels!! Firstly, air dryers are unsanitary, but also a lot of us can’t use them for various reasons
• if your “accessible” bathroom doesn’t have a change table for an adult to use independently, it’s not accessible. I need to be able to put my pants back on.
• your ramp should have nothing on it. Especially no displays.
• your sharps bins should be low enough we can see the top of them. Do you want sharps everywhere? That’s how you get sharps everywhere.
• holy fucking shit, have both left- and right-handed bathrooms; right-handed rails aren’t accessible to everyone
• desks should be low enough height we can not only see but reach over them, and also have space underneath for us. especially in retail
• if your double door doesn’t fit you going through with your arms like outstretched chicken wings with one door open, it won’t fit us. Open the other one
• fuck revolving doors
• fuck ramps into doors
• fuck the “accessible” entry being through the kitchen

Adding to the last one:
fuck the “accessible” entry being through the back/TRASH area how do you think that makes us feel